new mercies

it's thunderstorming out tonight.  i sat on my porch--one of my very favorite places in the whole world--and listened to the rain and watched lightning trace patterns through the night sky.  the quiet of the neighborhood, the hush of the rain, the flicker of the citronella candle as it mimicked the flashes in the sky.  a sense of refreshment and renewal.

i thought back over my day.  a good one.  a day of productive rest.  grading accomplished.  errands run. time spent reading a good new book (wallace stegner's "Angle of Repose").  restful kitchen time chopping up more rhubarb and baking coconut macaroons.

sitting there, my gaze fell on my violas.  and i suddenly felt a kinship with them.  earlier this afternoon, i noticed that they were wilted and battered by the day's strong winds.  i thought they were gonners for sure.  but i gave them some water and, before long, they were perked up and cheery.  by this evening, they were ready for the rainfall.

the past six weeks have been for me like today was for my violas.  battered and broken by pre-tenure stress, anxiety, fear, and feelings of insecurity, these recent weeks have brought me renewal and refreshment.  i think i am perking up and regaining my cheer.

as i look back, i see that God has been sustaining me always with His gifts: friends, family, church, satisfying work, a home that i love, new adventures, His truths.  but in these past six weeks, post-tenure, He has been allowing me to enjoy those gifts in new ways.  they are beginning to soak in and i feel myself coming into new life.  i feel renewed.  i feel, for the first time in a long time, excited about what comes next.

though it is night, i feel the truth of Lamentations 3:22-24:

It is of the LORD's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness.
The LORD is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him.